LHaus
Sep 26 2011

Long Island City fights back against… crime? Corruption? Well, sort of.

Big news this morning. No, it’s not what’s going on with the European markets. Also not the release of the Amercian hikers in Iran. US Embassy attack in Kabul? Wrong again:

The newest addition to Vernon Blvd, LIC. – Photo by Ciprian Toma

Dunkin’ Donuts’ Early Celebration of Flag Day
By Steve Hofstetter

I heard a rumor there is a Dunkin’ Donuts that opened on Vernon Blvd. Is that true? I can’t seem to find it anywhere. If only there were 30 feet of pink and orange flags hanging in front of it.

The size of my sarcasm can only be matched by the 5 enormous Dunkin’ Donuts pennants that now adorn the corner of 49th Ave. Which, by the way, would be perfectly appropriate if Dunkin’ Donuts had just made the playoffs.

Before they turned Vernon Blvd into a Highlighter Day celebration, I welcomed Dunkin’ Donuts into the neighborhood. I don’t mind a chain store if it provides a good service; the Duane Reade on 47th is convenient, and I regularly bank at Chase. If Trader Joes or Jimmy Johns came into Long Island City, I would celebrate like the Mets just won the World Series (though Dunkin’ Donuts has better pitching). Just because something is big and successful doesn’t automatically make it evil. John Goodman is both of those things, and he’s delightful.

Dunkin’ Donuts marks its territory on Vernon Blvd. – Photo by Daniel Kim

Even when Dunkin’ Donuts added a sign that can be seen from space and 44th Avenue, I was not upset. Sushi Siam has an excellent corner location, but a small script logo leaves them as empty as my stomach after I eat sushi. The Dunkin’ Donuts sign is no brighter than the sign at Modern Spaces, and much smaller than the sign at the Food Cellar. I’m not one of the people who complained about the Dunkin’ Donuts sign just because it’s lit up and gawdy. Snoop Dogg is both of those things, and he’s delightful.

What’s amazing to me is that this Dunkin’ Donuts is at least partially locally owned, but the decision to string the flags seems to have been made by a bunch of older people in suits who think Long Island City is Long Island. There’s a difference between selling smart and selling out, and our Dunkin’ Donuts sold out like it was Eddie Murphy being offered a part in anything.

Long Island City is a neighborhood full of people who are proud to live here. It’s very different than growing up in Briarwood, a neighborhood of people who are proud to live there until someone offers them an apartment anywhere else. Where, might you ask, is Briarwood? Exactly. Their slogan may as well be “Briarwood – damn, Manhattan is expensive!”

Most people who live in Long Island City could live in Murray Hill if we wanted to. But we don’t, because Murray Hill sucks. No offense if you’re a 22-year-old with a trust fund. Then Murray Hill Rox! For all the older people in suits reading this, “rox” means “rocks,” which means “is delightful.”

Dunkin’ Donuts is on one of the busiest corners in the entire neighborhood, yet somehow they felt that their location plus their comically large sign would not attract enough attention. For those who still don’t understand why anyone is annoyed, the flag display is the equivalent of an overly tan girl with large boobs and a low cut shirt wearing glitter – it’s simply ignorant and unnecessary. Snooki is both of those things, and she is not delightful. Kidding – she is all five of those things.

I have no ill will towards Dunkin’ Donuts, and I wish them luck. But I also urge them to reconsider their promotional strategy. Perhaps any negativity from residents can be reversed if Dunkin’ Donuts simply pulls those flags down and puts a self-deprecating sign in the window.

“We’re sorry that our opening was a bit over the top – boy do we have egg on our face. Speaking of eggs and faces, try one of our new breakfast Paninis.”

And if that doesn’t work, maybe Dunkin’ Donuts could hire a big celebrity to apologize for them. I hear Eddie Murphy is available.


Steve Hofstetter is an internationally touring comedian and a proud resident of Long Island City.


The views expressed in this article do not reflect the views of liQcity.com, despite how delightful they may be.

76 Comments

Leave Your Comment Comment Feed

Most DD’s I’ve seen have pink and orange flags during their grand opening. Get out more, and you’ll notice this is not the exception.

#1 DK / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

#1, that’s not actually true. It’s about half of them. Many in the older neighborhoods of Boston don’t even have the lit up signage, in order to fit with the neighborhood around them. Also, the one in Greenpoint still has the flags up 5 months after the opening.

#2 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

I could totally understand if the the flags were trying to welcome customers to a 70′s themed Fanta-serving strip club. In fact, maybe one of the local LIC strip clubs would be kind enough to lend us one of their pole climbing strippers for a minute to snip off the DD flags? (sorry Steve, you’re not the only bad comedian in town)

#3 G / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

#3 I thought both your comment and Steve’s column were funny. Why say either of you were bad?

#4 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

#3 you had me until you dissed Steve. Great stuff! Truly delightful.

#5 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Ditto #5. Also, I would love it if that garish sign was de-lightful.

#6 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

You know, in “old” LIC, rather than posting endless commentary and complaints, someone would have just climbed up that pole, snipped the pennants down and stuffed them in DD’s dumpster. Problem solved. Simple as that.

#7 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

#7. why someone? how about you do that??

#8 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Dunkin’ Donuts would have never dared to open in the ‘old’ LIC.

#9 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Why are there 2 Subways within a few blocks from each other on Jackson? Who let that happen?

#10 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Jeesh. I hate to imagine the complaining that’s going to ensue when Micky Dees finally comes to town…

#11 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

8, this is exactly what I would have done. But I’m in my 60s now with two bum knees. It’s time for the youngsters to carry the torch (and I mean that metaphorically, of course).

#12 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

someone needs to just climb up the pole and cut them down in the middle of the night

#13 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

The 108 is probably protecting the DD streamers. They don’t do anything else, so they have the time. And we all know how cops feel about donuts…

#14 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Grow up people!

#15 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Is LIC really that spoiled? I am shocked by this response to a simple store opening.

#16 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

it would actually be pretty easy to cut them down. on the west side of the street – right above the huge / hideous awning – the flags are at their lowest. jumping up on the garbage can on the corner might be high enough – or just quickly rigging a sharp serrated knife to a broom handle would definitely do the trick — and it would be fast to execute on scene

#17 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

16, if it were a “simple store opening,” no one would have minded. Instead, it’s a loud, grotesque horror show in pink and orange vinyl. I’m surprised no one has mentioned the fact that this store is directly across the street from one of the few historic gems — St. Mary’s church — in the neighborhood.

#18 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Ok guys, while yes, we’re giving you the pot to stir all this up in, it would be great if you could refrain from encouraging and describing ways one can physically alter/damage a local business. No one knows if these streamers are legal or not, and if they are, then removing them is technically vandalism and can’t be promoted on this site. If they are not legal, removing them vigilante style is still probably not legal either, ergo please file complaints in the proper places, ie 311 or DOT or even CB2. Or better yet, just walk into DD, ask to speak to the owner, and ask them if they would kindly take down the streamers. If enough people do that, who knows what can happen? In the meantime, just please don’t promote ripping them down here on liQcity. It puts us in the line of fire, since contrary to those who feel this is a public bulletin board where free speech should reign, we are actually liable for everything you guys write. Thanks.

#19 info@liqcity.com / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Way to go LIQCity! The flags are all gone. No more streamers, no more pennants.

#20 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

I live in Astoria, and I love that LIC had this reaction to something ugly and over the top. I wish more residents here cared this much about their neighborhood.

#21 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

This is all very interesting. Personally I’m with Steve, I have no problem with Dunkin’ coming to the hood, but we are kind of like a small town here and it would be great if chains come, if they can kind of stay within the lines of the character of this place. I liked the example of the starbucks in greenpoint who altered their signage so it’s like the marquee, since they took over an old theatre space. It would have been great if Dunkin’ had done a more old school low key sign, and probably we would have all appreciated their effort. Instead they went in the exact opposite direction, but at least they seem to be responding to the community’s reaction. Thanks Dunkin’ Donuts for taking the flags down.

#22 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

They gone! They’re all gone! Yay for Steve! Yay for LIQCity!

Now can you write a blog on how hard it is to find a good parking spot around here?

#23 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Thank you liqcity. Thank you Steve. And thank you Dunkin’ Donuts.

#24 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

They were packed this morning – line out the door.

#25 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Great news about flags! Now if DD would modify that ugly OVERSIZED awning. It is really not hard to create an awning thats more in line with the rest of the neighborhood, yet displays the brand name and logo, etc.
I really hate seeting LIC turning into Jamaica or something along those lines.

#26 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Can’t believe that many people are making such a fuss over flags when there are better things to worry about like, litter, street cleaning & cleaning up the Vernon mall area. Even thought the police station is right there and many of the officers park their cars around the Vernon Mall there are still so many strange characters that hang out drinking alcohol in this small park. If you walk around the area you will notice many discarded empty liquor bottles on the sidwalk and in the curbof the street. If you want to be a community activist Steve then deal with the real issues of L.I.C., the ones that the community will benefit by when you take action, not some dumb flags.

#27 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Agree with #27 …a lots issues here to be addressed in LIC for sure…please discuss more about health, kids, and safety in this blog.

#28 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

It’s a shame the place just opened and it’s being attacked. If the flags are there next month you could complain – but really people you NEVER saw flags for a GRAND opening?

#29 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

27, you make excellent points about the Vernon Mall. But why limit complaints to any one issue? This blog tends to have a real estate angle, and so I think that’s why the DD Flag Furor generated so many comments because it’s a new business that just opened up.

But, absolutely, I couldn’t agree with you more about the litter and vagrant problem in LIC. I would also point some blame at that liquor store near the subway. They seem to have no problem selling booze to drunks and homeless litterers.

#30 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

LIC certainly isn’t crime or litter free, but that doesn’t change that this was a hilarious column.

#31 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

They aren’t homeless or vagrant. New LIC people, here’s some important information for you. Those guys who sit at the Vernon Mall are from the halfway house around the corner on Borden Ave. They have been here for years and are not going to go anywhere and for the most part are harmless. Just don’t give them any money and handle yourself as you would anywhere else in NYC and you will be fine. They are part of our population. We all can’t live in fancy high-rises or even nice townhouses. Aso show respect for homeless people because hey are human, and just be grateful you are not in their position in life. Trying to get rid of them is not the answer nor is it going to happen.

As for the street cleaning that’s just Albany’s laziness. If you care that much then let’s start a neighborhood cleanup and clean up our streets ourselves. Don’t just come onto a blog and anonymously complain for someone else to do work to make your environment better. You can participate too.

#32 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Steve your article was hilarious. Don’t listen to the haters. They always get on here and just nag nag nag. Misery can’t keep it’s mouth shut sometimes.

#33 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

32 — Talk about bleeding heart. So you make excuses for drunks who live in a halfway house and drink in public and hang out all day littering in a park? Sorry, I’ve lived in LIC my whole life and that was never considered acceptable behavior, no matter how much money or luck you had. There would be no need to grab a broom if those bums weren’t there all day throwing their empties on the street. Stop making excuses for people who have no respect.

#34 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

By the way, you can drop off donations at the Borden Ave halfway house – they are always very appreciative.

#35 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Thanks #32 i find it so sad the way people treat the homeless. they are not the only ones that litter in fact sometimes they pick it up. there was a homeless guy on 51st who used to watch out for the parked cars so they wouldn’t get broken into. i used to give him food and my brother’s old clothes. show some compassion. it’s not a bleeding heart but just having one in the first place.

#36 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Wow! They take down the streamers and now it’s on to the next thing to fight about. Unbelievable.

#37 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

# 34 you are correct, why make excuses for drunks who live in a halfway house and their disrespect for us the tax paying people who’s tax dollars are going to keep them in that halfway house. And another thing about comment # 32, just because something has been there for so many years does not make it right. It’s that mentality that gets you nowhere and leads you into a bigger problem. And who is to say that they are harmless, do you know this for a fact # 32? This whole attitude of wait and see, or we can’t do anything about them until something happens is just dumb. So, you believe that they are all moral upstanding citizens that live in this halfway house # 32? If so maybe you can pack up your bags and move in with them to see what kind of people they really are and after you are all settled in you can write us back about how wonderful your life. Waiting around until one of them either, robs, rapes, or beats you up for money is not the solution. I’ve been witness to them making nasty comment to people on the street when they walk by. We need the police to be more proactive with this issues especially since they are only 1 block away.

#38 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

I think a local graphic designer or architect that knows how to use Photoshop should post an alternative to their current awning. This way they could see what we are all talking about. I assume would have a caves awning with the DD colors and goose head lighting with backlit letters. Or better yet Liqcity should hold a contest for best redesign of the DD awning and we all could vote.

#39 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

#39 – Yes, thats a great idea. Liqcity – how about that contest? Iam sure we can come up with something more tasteful for the DD awning.

#40 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Ugh, this is out of control. It is ugly. But at least the flags are down, let’s all calm down now! I get so exhausted reading this blog!

#41 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

#41 have a seat and take a deep breath. I think the contest would be a great idea and it would be very entertaining. It would also provide a solution to a problem instead of just complaining about it.

#42 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

If they take down the awning, I’m sure that there is something else that the people around here can complain about. Be happy that they removed the flags.

#43 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

The flags worked ! got the people talking about the new store.

#44 michaelp p coleman / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Uh, I would say taking down the flags was wiser than putting them up. Putting them up made me adamant about never going there. Taking them down makes me feel like they are listening, and so maybe I will get a donut occasionally now.

#45 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Funny how the only place you can see the streamers is in the liqcity blog. It now feels like a a limited time offer deal. If you didn’t see it, you missed it!

#46 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

And the sign that read ‘expresso’.

#47 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

I think this whole exhausting chain of comments and events just shows that the owner of DD is responsive to the community. The people who say DD is just a corporate chain that they won’t patronize should note that somewhere, the owner of this DD is just a mom or pop trying to make a living. And who cared enough to respond to the voice of the community. They didn’t have to change things because they need the business of the complainers–the place has been packed since it opened. They just did it. I’m going in to say thanks.

#48 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

I agree with going in and saying thanks. They responded and as someone else said earlier, I too would not have gone in because of the flags, but will now stop in for an occasional cup of coffee.

#49 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

I also think this exhausting chain of comments shows that LIC is not a nameless neighborhood in the city. We care about what happens here and preserving LIc’s character. Yes it would be great if we were more vocal about other issues that plague us too, so let’s do it!

#50 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Gentrification will soon take care of the problems on Vernon Mall. Once the lease for the alcohol store comes up and rents are hiked 5x they will need to move and it will be replaced by a french bistro.

Instead of hating on DD who actually is making an investment in the neighborhood and being responsive to concerns I would like to see 60 posts complaining about how that liquor across from the Vernon Mall store is destroying the neighborhood and I’m not talking about streamers. I suppect that no one will get as upset, because its part of old LIC, but if a resturant opens there are instantly complaints about people talking above a whisper when they stand outside to smoke a cigarette. Serving alcohol to inebriated vagrants = okay. Streamers and resturant serving alcohol to a young professional crowd = bad.

Double standard?

#51 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

51, There isn’t a double standard. Trust me, people have been complaining (and not just on blogs) about the problems of public drinking and nuisances (like the cops dumping abandoned vehicles there) from that mall for many years. You assume people in “old” LIC are happy about that place? Rubbish. The instant the decision was made to place that facility in the neighborhood, we all knew we’d have impacts, which are much deeper and difficult to address than a local business sticking up ugly streamers. If you want to spearhead a movement to clean up the mall, I’m sure you’d get many volunteers to help out. You could start by asking our local neighborhood business organization if they could do something too.

#52 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Yes, we as a community need to get more involved with the issues of the neighborhood to make our community stronger and safe place for everyone to live. Does anyone know of any community meetings that take place now or how we can organize such meetings? Maybe the St. Mary’s church basement can be a good meeting place to get one organized.

#53 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Starbucks is a chain store…also LV and Gucci……

#54 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

I would like to formally apologize that this column didn’t prevent crime or clean up litter. Maybe next time.

Meanwhile, for those that are interested in making a difference, the community board meets the first Thursday of every month. There are several subcommittees that also meet throughout each year.

This was fun – thank you for reading (and thank you to those who posted kind words). I’ll probably write again in the future. If you want to suggest topics, you can email me at steve@stevehofstetter.com.

Thanks!
-Steve

#55 Steve Hofstetter / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

#52 I call BS. If there was a serious attempt to do something about this all that would need to be done is protest the renewal of the liquor lic. of that establishment. To my knowledge the only lic. renewal issues in front of the community board are those involving new resturants, so yes there is a double standard. If the community wanted to shut down Vernon Wine they would have done so. My sense is that they look the other way because its part of “old” LIC.

#56 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

LiqCity any idea if the awning redesign competition, mentioned above, is an idea that would fly with you guys? It would be pretty cool.

#57 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

The community board meetings aren’t the proper venue to air the kinds of issues and concerns we’re talking about here. They are a body with a narrow set of responsibilities with an insider’s perspective and don’t even focus themselves on our ‘hood. I think LIC (or Hunters Point anyway) needs a neighborhood group that can lobby for things that are of unique concern to residents.

57, I just don’t agree with your insinuation that somehow “old” LIC protects unappealing businesses simply because they were here before you showed up. It’s more than a little insulting. You need to give people a little more credit than that. And perhaps a neighborhood group is just the kind of body that can finally bridge the trust issues we have in LIC.

#58 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

To those who have decided that DD needs a new awning, we obviously cannot run such a contest without the local DD asking us that they want one, and on top of that, that they want someone in the community to redesign it for them. If you get them to agree, email us at info@liqcity.com and we’ll run a contest. In the meantime, we are going to do our jobs and make sure the sidewalks are clean and crime free, because that’s our responsibility and not anyone else’s. We’ll also make sure that everyone in LIC gets mac n’ cheese for dinner tonight, and a mint on their pillow. An organic mint, of course.

And please, a round of virtual applause for Steve. Without him, our days would still be graced with pink and orange flags. Cheers, liQcity

#59 liQcity / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Who should pay for this new sign/awning? The owners of DD? Should be interesting…

#60 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

I am not sure DD needs to give permission for a conceptual redesign of their awning because this is just contest to give them ideas. In no way do they have to follow or change their awning if they do not want to. It is only a way of showing them that there are better options than what they have now and if they choose to they could make those changes. It is better than just telling them that their awning is ugly but not give them guidance on what the community find acceptable.

#61 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

I would prefer a free-range mint over organic. I want the mint to have been able to blow freely in the wind instead of in a cage. Thanks LIQ! You’re the best.

#62 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

#63, If I were a business on Vernon Blvd I would never let t he community dictate to me what kind of awning they find acceptable. Your audacity is impressive to think that a business owner should do what you want them to. They do what they want to do. You go to their business or not. Meaning, you also get to do what you want to do. If you don’t like their awning, don’t go there. Simple as that. They are not going to change it for you, and neither will any other business. What you suggest is ridiculous and a waste of time.

#63 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Sorry, #63 was a response to #61.

#64 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

To #63, if DD wants to be a part of this community, then yes, they should consider concerns of local residents, cush as new awning or removal of the flags.

An awning redesign contest sounds great. We can show DD what we come up with, and hopefully DD will at least take it into consideration.

#65 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

enough with the awning….move on…

#66 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

I agree the contest is stupid and a waste of time. There is probably little that they can do anyway. If you think DD corporate offices wants individual franchise coming up with their own branding and signage you have no idea how franchise agreements work.

#67 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

I agree with #66. We won with the flags. Are you people never satisfied? Just say thank you and let’s move on. They didn’t have to take the streamers down and they did. That’s amazing in my book.

#68 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

Awning contest? Insanity. To all those people suggesting this bizarre idea, have you taken a look at the other businesses on Vernon Boulevard? Many of their awnings are ripped, filthy, or missing portions. And you are griping about the style of this new one because you don’t like its style? If you don’t like it, buy the franchise and put up a new one.

#69 Anonymous / 7 months, 3 weeks ago

#58, the neighborhood group is the Hunters Point Development Corporation – which is chaired by Terri and her son Brian (from the Army/Navy store) on Vernon.

#70 Anonymous / 7 months, 2 weeks ago

#70, they are biased and don’t speak for me and many others that I know in the community. We need another group.

#71 Anonymous / 7 months, 2 weeks ago

You people have WAY too much time on your hands. I wish I had your problems so that I could concentrate on a problem as petty as this. All you so called \neighborhood\ people should take a look in the window of D&D during the day and see all your freinds in there. Unreal that a lawyer was sent in to have a word with the establishment. Seeing as though there is always a line at the counter , I dont think they will going anywhere soon so get used to it. D&D also brings alot of foot traffic to the neighborhood, which in turn brings more patrons for other businesses. Stop wasting your time on this BS and concentrate on the things that will truly improve LIC.

#72 Blah Blah Blah.... / 7 months, 2 weeks ago

#72 you are out of your mind if you think that dunkin donuts BRINGS people into the neighborhood.

#73 Anonymous / 7 months, 2 weeks ago

#72 so you are saying that not one person who walks out of Dunkin Donuts would patronize any other business on Vernon or take a quick look around the neighborhood and want to come back sometime? Makes perfect sense to me, maybe you’re right, maybe I am out of my mind

#74 blah blah blah / 7 months, 2 weeks ago

I’m surprised no one mentioned the flags that Societa’ Sant’ Amato di Nusco (between Madera and Sushi Siam) put up on the same day as DD’s flags. They weren’t strung across a street but from the middle of the block to a lamppost on the corner. Not sure when they were taken down but they were only up for a day or two, just like the DD flags. They were part of their annual celebration of the saint’s death.

#75 Anonymous / 7 months, 2 weeks ago

Went to try to get a bagel sandwich last Sunday at the bagel store on Vernon and
51st St last Sunday afternoon and noticed it was closed. Hope this is not an effect
of the arrival of DDs.

#76 Harvey Heit / 7 months, 1 week ago

Leave Your Comment

Some HTML Allowed

Your e-mail will not be shown. Although if you have a Gravatar it will be shown here. Otherwise, anonymous comments are welcome.